Words of Remembrance
This page holds the words we’ve written to honor Luca’s life and were shared aloud at his memorial service. Though no words can fully express our heartbreak, we hope these help show how deeply Luca is loved and always will be.
​We had dreamt of a baby for a long time, and when Luca arrived he was immediately a shining star, earning the reputation as the cutest baby in the ward, nurses would stop by to see him. Luca was only on this earth for 2 years, but they were unquestionably the best, most magical 2 years of our lives - in that time we made enough memories to last a lifetime. We did everything with Luca and gave him unconditional love. We take solace in the fact that Luca reciprocated that love and showed us every day - from his big hugs to his tiny kisses. There is nothing that doesn’t remind us of him. He was the kindest, sweetest boy - there will never be another Luca.
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Luca was born and died on May 31st at 10 in the evening, exactly 2 years apart. He woke up on his last day, his birthday, a completely healthy boy, running and smiling. After we put Luca to sleep that night, we coincidentally commented that nothing is more important than our child’s health. Just 400 children a year pass of sudden unexplained death, but rare means nothing when your child is one of the statistics. When a person loses a spouse, they are a widow. When a person loses a parent, they are an orphan. There is no word in the English language for when a parent loses a child because it is just so unimaginably awful and not supposed to happen. No matter how much love and support we are getting from family and friends, we feel empty and lonely without our boy.
Given this tragedy, one questions everything. Why Luca? Why now? Why us? The only plausible explanation is that Luca was an angel sent to us from heaven to transform our lives for exactly 2 years. How else can one explain these events? It’s not fair what happened to Luca. We’ll never understand, but there appears to be a greater power at work.
Everyone who met Luca knew he already had a heart of gold. He had a smile that could brighten anyone’s day and was a happy boy. He was great at sharing, so much so that at the town Easter egg hunt, he was hesitant to collect any eggs before the other kids. He loved to dance, especially with his classmates and teachers at Primrose. He loved his ‘Mama’ and ‘Dada’ and loved to be carried - ‘up up’ he would say, and if we were tired, he would even throw in a ‘peease’ for us to relent. What his mom and dad wouldn’t give to be able to lift him up just one last time.
Luca’s favorite color was blue or as he would say ‘boooooo.’ He loved his blue crocs and blue sneakers, and if he got to pick, would wear his blue jacket every day. Luca loved eggs, but Luca was particular. He needed to pick out the egg himself, always picking the biggest one, and then specify whether Mama or Dada was the lucky one allowed to cook him his egg that day. Luca would then request that he eat his big egg, while wearing blue, on his red plate. Yes, he could drive us crazy, but we loved him and will always love him.
Luca loved dogs and cats. Whenever we would drive by the dog park or see dogs from our living room he would point and go ‘dog dog.’ He probably liked FaceTiming with his grandparents cats, who he called ‘Olio’ and ‘Mel’, more than anyone else. And recently Luca started to love planes - calling them ‘bigs’ and pointing at them in the sky. Luca loved playing with balls, often refusing to go inside after daycare until he played outside first or got pushed on his red tricycle around the block. Luca loved saying ‘cheese’ and smiling for pictures. These are all probably things that most 2 year olds like to do, but Luca was our 2 year old and we adored every bit of him.
Luca was a notoriously bad sleeper. We were so jealous of our friends who could plop their kids in their cribs and they would magically fall asleep. The whole bedtime process could take up to 90 minutes with Luca making funny faces at us while he walked up the stairs, yelling at us to close the baby gates (or ‘doors’ as he referred to them as), and running around in his diaper before finally getting into the bath. To close it out, it usually included at least 30-60 minutes of rocking him before we put him down. In hindsight, this was a tremendous blessing - adding up to countless hours we had just hugging our boy.
Over the past week, we’ve been flooded by our memories of Luca. Reminiscing about our vacations to Vermont, Upstate New York, Florida, and Cape Cod. Luca loved to go in the hiking backpack and loved swimming and being tossed in the air. He was our best helper - often running to find Mama or Dada and saying ‘help help’ if we were doing something new that he wanted to do with us. He loved helping us do mundane things around the house like making coffee, doing yard work, and brushing our teeth together. Luca loved his Mama and Dada so much that he wanted both of us up when he got up - refusing to let anyone sleep-in and running into our bedroom telling whoever was still in bed ‘up up.’ He loved to wrestle his Dada and jump on his back, and read books sitting in his Mama’s lap. He was only 2 but already our best friend. We loved our little family.
We know that everyone says that their child is perfect, but Luca really was perfect. Yes, we are turning a blind eye to the challenges that a toddler can bring, but Luca was worth it. We were worth it. We know that Luca is watching down from above at the outpouring of support from friends and family this past week. It means the world to us and we will continue to need that support going forward, long past this day. At the loss of a child, they say parents experience a pain so deep that no one can understand it, it’s like they’ve gone to a separate island from the rest of the people, and we need your help to re-shape our world.
Luca was going to be the best big brother, always kissing his Mama’s pregnant belly, and we are devastated that he’ll have to be one from heaven. Luca will always be with us, but at the same time, something will always be missing. We love you our dearest, sweetest, kindest boy. We will never forget your smile. We will never forget you. We love you, Luca.​​​
